And The Wise One Said "Eff This Sh*t" and Moved To Alaska- Coconut Apricot Wax Candle

Premium Scented Candle | Clean Burning | Made in the USA

Meet your new favorite candle — hand-poured in the USA and designed to bring long-lasting fragrance, cozy ambiance, and a little personality into any space. Made with luxurious coconut apricot wax and a clean-burning cotton wick, this candle is as high-quality as it is giftable.

Whether you’re shopping for a funny candle, a stress-relief gift, or a cozy home accent, this candle delivers warmth, scent, and style.

✨ Candle Details

Wax: Premium coconut apricot wax (clean-burning & smooth)

Wick: Cotton wick (lead & zinc-free)

Burn Time:

• 4oz – up to 20 hours

• 9oz – up to 50 hours

Vessels: Amber glass or clear glass

Lid: Gold metal lid

Safety: ASTM compliant

Assembly: Hand-poured & assembled in the USA

Note: All scents have the same natural wax color

After burning, the glass vessel can be cleaned and reused for decor, storage, or plants.

🌿 Available Scents

FRASIER FIR

A crisp, woodsy fragrance with notes of cypress and lemon peel, layered with evergreen and cedar, and grounded by fir, amber, and moss. Cozy, fresh, and perfect year-round.

CINNAMON CHAI

Warm and comforting — orange peel and black tea blend with nutmeg and peppercorn, finishing with vanilla, clove, and cinnamon. Like a cozy mug of spiced chai.

CASHMERE MUSK

Soft and elegant with bergamot and saffron, floral heart notes of violet and lily of the valley, and a smooth base of dark musk and vetiver.

BEACHWOOD

Fresh and grounding — sea salt and orange peel meet grass and eucalyptus, layered with sage, teakwood, and patchouli for a clean coastal vibe.

MANGO COCONUT

Bright and tropical with orange and pineapple, juicy mango and peach, and a sweet finish of sugar and creamy coconut milk.

VANILLA BEAN

Rich and comforting — buttercream and sugary cake, pure vanilla, and a warm bourbon base.

LAVENDER

Relaxing and fresh with citrus and bergamot, hints of camphor and eucalyptus, softened by cedar, and finished with pure lavender.

UNSCENTED

Fragrance-free illumination for sensitive noses or scent-free spaces.

🎁 Perfect For

Funny candle gifts

Stress relief & burnout humor

Birthday or friend gifts

Home decor & cozy spaces

Office or self-care candles

🕯️ Care Tips

Trim wick to ¼" before lighting

Burn long enough for full melt pool

Never leave a burning candle unattended